Side ZC
by Sumiyaki
Summary: First attempt at a longer fic in 2006. Zack helps Cloud pull through SOLDIER results. ZxC
1. In the Arms of a Friend

Author's Note: First completed fic ever. Completed not meaning this is a completed story. Completed meaning this is the first fic I've actually managed to finish. Eh heh.  
…I'd really appreciate critique…but not too hard, yes? Or, well…give me advanced critique and such, but don't be harsh about it? –shuts up before she says any more–

Disclaimer: I don't own Cloud or Zack. Sephiroth does. Yeah, I suppose Square-Enix does too. That kinda doesn't work as well without the -strike- feature.

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In the Arms of a Friend

The blonde was cold. He became ever more aware of this fact when a brisk wind pressed against him, forcing a shiver from inside the ragged Shinra jacket. But at least it offered some form of protection against the bitterly cold weather. He desperately wished that it would instead guard him from the thoughts that swirled about his mind. Nothing could hide him from those thoughts.

For an all-too-brief moment, Cloud Strife took solace in the chill winter surroundings. Delicate snowflakes caught on his lashes, and a thin layer covered his hair, those impossible golden spikes that were his greatest defining feature. He was sitting in a pure, white landscape. It was so quiet, and so peaceful, but…

He was alone. Alone to face what he kept trying to fight.

/_Maybe…_/

He had wanted to write of success to his mother. Maybe…even Tifa. He wasn't extremely close with anyone. No, that was quite an understatement. He never belonged in Nibelheim. Still, Tifa was the only one to ever show him friendship when he was a boy. They hadn't been in touch though, since the time they met under the well. When he'd called her out and told her of his decision to join SOLDIER. When she'd hesitated but forced him to make a promise. _That_ promise. And what had he accomplished?

/_if I had made it…_/

His vision began to fog. Why did he have to be so weak? Unable to be noticed, unable to be accepted, unable to amount to anything… if he had made it, everything would have changed. Everything would have been different.

Wouldn't it?

But Cloud knew. He was lying to himself again. It didn't matter. It didn't matter at all, damnit. There would never come a time when people would openly praise him. He would always be the pathetic little boy from Nibelheim. A choked sob escaped him, and in defeat, he buried his head in his arms, letting his tears saturate the worn fabric of his jacket.

/_into SOLDIER._/

Only the best made it into SOLDIER. Joining Shinra's elite guard was the goal of so many young men. There was also the not-so-tiny fact thatthe force was led by Sephiroth. _Sephiroth_, the great General of Shinra, whom Cloud beheld in adoration and wonder. He had heard so many stories about the legendary man. Tales of his leadership during the war of Wutai and of his already inhuman strength, only to be intensified by Mako treatment. Yet despite the obvious rift between them, Cloud had let himself believe, that if he had made it into SOLDIER, he stood a chance at matching his idol.

Mentally, Cloud hit himself. And found that his forehead was throbbing much more painfully than he had expected.

"It's freezing out here, Spike! What do you think you're doing?"

Cloud hadn't even _heard_ anyone approaching, yet Zack was standing right in front of him, wearing little more than the usual sleeveless shirt and pants. The blonde didn't know how long he'd been outside, though it must have been a while, if Zack had come to search for him. It was evident that the older man had spent a while looking; his breaths were short, hasty inhalations.

"I'm sitting," Cloud mumbled.

He refused to lift his head and face Zack. Doing so would likely result in meeting the SOLDIER's eyes. They were unnaturally deep violet eyes, and couple with the blue tinge of Mako, Cloud was utterly bare beneath them. Already, he could feel the intense gaze fixed on his head.

/_Maybe, if I ignore him…he'll leave me alone today._/

"Well, that's quite obvious," A hint of exasperation lined Zack's voice. "You know what I meant."

Zack plopped down at Cloud's side and roughly brushed off the snowflakes that blanketed the blonde's hair. It was light, powdery snow, and Zack had no trouble fluffing the golden spikes back to their usual gravity-defying state. He heard Zack chuckle "thoughtfully".

/_Then again, maybe that's too much to hope for._/

"Chocobos don't belong in the snow, you know that?"

Normally, such a comment would have been enough to irritate Cloud, but he gave no sign that he had heard anything. He really wasn't in any mood to humour the SOLDIER and hoped the message was quite clear. Sighing, the older man relented and sat in silence with the smaller form beside him. Cloud was actually able to enjoy a few minutes of peace before Zack opened his mouth again.

"Are you cold?"

The least responsive action Cloud could think of was to shake his head.

"Really?"

He cursed the Planet when a particularly frigid wind blew by, causing Cloud to shiver despite himself.

"I think you're freezing," Zack declared smugly.

"I'm fine." His cheeks had begun to warm from humiliation, so he wasn't exactly lying.

"Or perhaps you're so numb you can't tell the difference?"

"Lay off."

"Cold, at least."

"Zack."

"It's a wonder you're not frozen solid."

"_Please_."

"Covered in snow and everything, too."

"You don't know when to stop, do you!"

Cloud jerked his head up to glare furiously at the other man. The remnants of his tears were still visible, he was sure, but he didn't care; all he wanted was to be left _alone_ and Zack wouldn't grant him even that. He heard harsh words spill from his mouth.

"Why can't you just _go away_? You always show up when I'd rather be by myself! You appear when I—I don't need your pity! You act like you know everything but you _don't_!"

He knew he should stop before he said any more, before he pushed Zack further away. Even so, he had already said too much. So many bitter words that his friend didn't deserve. In for a gil, in for a thousand. But…why wasn't Zack doing anything? Why wasn't he arguing? Why wasn't Zack yelling back, shouting at him? Why couldn't Zack punch him, instead of watching with that unnerving stare?

"You don't know, damnit! …you don't know what it's like…at all…"

In the next instant, Cloud found himself wrapped in the SOLDIER's strong embrace. He struggled blindly for a few moments before finally collapsing against the other. It was useless to fight, really. The elder's physique and determination both exceeded his own. And as Zack began to soothingly rub his back, Cloud found he had no desire to fight either.

"You're right," Zack said quietly. "I don't know what's going through your mind right now. But that doesn't mean you can't tell me, does it?"

"It's…not… I didn't mean to…"

Zack took the rest of his faltering words with a kiss. Much to his own surprise, Cloud found himself returning it, moving his own lips against Zack's. Just as he vaguely wondered how much time had passed, Zack pulled away.

"Best way to calm someone down."

Cloud nodded numbly and bit back the new flood of tears that threatened to take over any moment. He fought them will all he had left; there was no way he would humiliate himself like this. He moved his hands to rub away the emerging drops, but Zack caught his wrists in a firm, yet gentle, grip.

"You can cry, Cloud."

The statement startled the blonde almost more than the kiss. Uncertainly, he peered at the SOLDIER to find Zack watching him with kind, perceptive eyes.

"Don't…isolate yourself," the SOLDIER continued. "I'll always be here, if you ever need to talk."

He smiled that bright smile of his and brushed a few golden strands away from the boy's face.

"I'm so sorry…" Cloud whispered.

"Shh…"

"No, I—I shouldn't have said all those things…"

"Don't worry about it."

Zack pulled him close, weaving his fingers through the blonde's soft hair. It was almost too much for Cloud. All those accusations, Zack was simply going to ignore them? He didn't deserve this comfort at all, yet the SOLDIER was offering so kindly… It was as though a large burden had been lifted, allowing his tears to fall, and he clung to Zack, burying his face in the other's chest. And with each sob that arose from his trembling body, Zack simply held him tighter.

They sat together for a while, a single form in the winter snow, until the boy's breathing had slowed to a calmer state. Cloud settled further into the embrace, resting his head against Zack's shoulder. Truly, it was so warm… He stifled a yawn as drowsiness gradually overtook him, pressing heavily against his eyelids. When sleep finally took its course, he thought he felt soft lips brush his forehead.

/_Thank you_./

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SDAGTDFS. I should stick to art. Too bad I can't draw either. DX

Is "lay off" outdated? Either way, I refuse to make Cloud say "fuck". No, I can't write kissy scenes. Heck, it was supposed to be less angsty and more fluffy too. And yes, I like my commas.Though if you see any actual _wrong_ comma use, please tell me (:

…Working on a Zack POV since it was hard trying not to incorporate his thoughts into this piece XD. And then I was thinking of adding Seph…and going all the way to Nibel…and maybe even past that. But! I suck at keeping projects alive. Who knows.

Story Word Count: 1433


	2. Contemplative Thoughts

Author's Note: The delay? I blame it on Sephiroth. And maybe on a little of my fluctuality. Okay, maybe alot. I hate my inability to stay focused. But I think I got it the way I originally wanted! And ahm… I'm really thankful for the… ah… attention? the first chapter received… bows and rushes off

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Square-Enix, who is releasing KH2 in a few days! OMGZ0RSLURVE!11!1!

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Contemplative Thoughts

He placed a light kiss on Cloud's forehead before shifting the sleeping boy into a more comfortable position. Zack sat content, and he closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of tears and sweat in Cloud's hair while the blonde dozed peacefully. He idly ran his fingers through those golden strands, a faint smile touching his lips when the blonde mumbled something incoherent against his neck. Cloud looked so calm in his sleep, so relaxed, so… _vulnerable_. So unlike the boy who had been unleashing such fury just moments earlier.

Perhaps he should have expected the outburst. The SOLDIER exams were undoubtedly important to Cloud, like they were to so many others. But Zack knew the boy was unique. The fact that Cloud hadn't taken the entrance exams until now, a full year and a half after he joined the military, was proof of how different he was. All he'd said about the delay was something about proving himself by passing with high stats.

And to come so far, only to fail… a dream crushed before it could even come to fruition. He should have known that Cloud wouldn't be able to bear it. He wasn't Sephiroth, no matter how similar they may be. Physically, not at all, but emotionally, both were so guarded against others, and so ignorant of their own emotions that they withheld it all, until one confined himself in his office to seethe and the other secluded himself in sorrow.

But Zack would always be there.

Knocking vigilantly on Sephiroth's door, he'd yell about how Hojo deserved to be skewered after a nasty session of mako and who knows what, and how crazy it was that a maniac like him ever because a professor. Inevitably, they would get into an illogical argument about Shinra law, criminal punishment, reputations, and other topics obscurely related to the death of Hojo, among other subjects. When both parties had screamed their throats raw, Sephiroth would reluctantly open the door and express his gratitude, before finally turning in for the night.

And just when Zack determined that all was well, he was informed that Cloud had been missing for the past hour or so when he'd been having said screaming contest with the General. Both worried and frustrated, Zack nearly collapsed with relief to find the blonde simply sitting in the snow, albeit a little pale from the cold. He desperately wished that Cloud would open up and _talk_ but at the same time, Zack was patient, knowing that trust would come gradually, with gentle coaxing. Until then…

_It's freezing out here, Spike! What do you think you're doing?_

His thoughts were interrupted when Cloud subconsciously pressed closer to him for warmth. And as much as Zack enjoyed the blonde snuggling against him, he understood the poor boy would likely catch a cold if he stayed out any longer. Though, in the case that Cloud _did_ get sick, he'd have an excuse to stick around… Sighing wistfully, Zack obeyed his more responsible side and slowly lifted Cloud in his arms, moving as carefully as possible so he wouldn't disturb the boy's slumber.

Save for the crisp sounds of his boots against snow, the trip back was made in silence. The SOLDIER rooms weren't even in the same vicinity as the military barracks. Instead, they were located in a certain section of Headquarters. A new 1st Class could always look forward to receiving a room of his own, which allowed for much more privacy than other accommodations. It was quite spacious too, almost like a small apartment.

When Zack reached his door, he belatedly remembered the small, black authorization mechanism and its supposedly protective queries for a keycard. He stood stupefied for a few moments, staring at that mocking red light, then looking to his pocket, and finally at Cloud. Light, pocket, Cloud. Light, pocket, Cloud.

/_For the love of…_/

In his opinion, the procedure was a nuisance. Who in his –or her– right mind would break into a SOLDIER's room anyway?

He set Cloud on the floor, smiling momentarily at the sleep protest that resulted, and proceeded to locate his keycard. Once secured, he swiped the card through and was easily, though perhaps a bit grudgingly, recognized. A smirk danced across his lips as he took mental score: Zack –1, Shinra equipment – 0. Collecting Cloud in his arms again, he quickly walked past the sliding doors, in case they decided to malfunction just to spite him.

It was dark inside, but Zack's mako-enhanced eyes adjusted well enough. Leaving the lights off, he examined the mess that was his room. The sheets were half-off the bed, framed with clothes strewn haphazardly across the floor. There were dishes piled in the sink, probably at least a week old, and a whole herd of dust bunnies was probably living comfortably under his couch. Maybe he really ought to clean it up sometime…

He made his way to the bed and pushed off the dirty clothes that had evaded the floor before placing Cloud upon it. The standard Shinra coat came off, as well as the fatigue pants, both folded neatly and set aside. Which left the Cloud lacking a considerable amount of clothing. His face colored with a light tinge of pink; he felt like a perverted old man. Sure, if the kid had been conscious, he might've indulged himself, but asleep?

Zack fought the warmth that was rising in his cheeks and tried to focus on the boy's face instead. Not that it helped, of course, as his eyes kept drifting to Cloud's lips, reminding him of the… fairly mutual kiss they shared earlier. He'd wanted to do that for a year, at the very least. Not exactly what he'd call an ideal situation but…

He'd had to lie about his intentions, too, because he wasn't exactly sure how _Cloud_ felt about… well, him. A friend, maybe nothing more, and from what he'd noticed, the Nibelheim boy already had someone back home. There was this _look_ that made his blue eyes shine during those rare times when he'd talk about his past, similar to the look he had when speaking of Sephiroth. Admiration… and _hope_. There had to be someone waiting for him.

It figured, he thought, that the one kid he really had his eye on was already taken.

Zack sat on the opposite side of the bed, causing the springs to creak underneath the new weight, and sighed deeply. Running a hand through his own unruly spikes, he watched Cloud for a few more moments before stripping his shirt off and settling in the bed. He had almost fallen asleep before he realized the suggestive position Cloud would wake to. And though the thought was more than slightly amusing, he removed himself and took to the couch instead.

Finding a comfortable position facing Cloud, he watched the blonde sleep, until his owns eyelids began to droop from drowsiness. Tomorrow, Cloud would have the day off and as far as the SCLDIER knew, he wasn't scheduled for anything either. Maybe they could talk? A hopeful wish but… ah well. There was no point in thinking about it now.

That was the beauty in Zack's personality. He lived in the present, unchained by the past and untroubled by the future. No matter what happened, there would always be a brighter day. His only wish was that Cloud could understand this as well.

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…it really _is_ a "herd of rabbits" -finds that amusing, partially because she is imagining cows and the like-

Zack is OOC? I dunno… this is kinda how I perceive him…

I know next to nothing about the military and soldier life. And my library is unable to provide me with information on those topics ;; Which is the reason I placed the SOLDIER rooms in Shinra HQ, because I can work with business buildings. Besides, I figure that 1st Classes are special enough. That's not to say I wouldn't appreciate learning about the military though…

And for some reason, I feel like I missed some really stupid grammar/punctuation error…

Story Word Count: 1239


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